COHABITATION

THE BOOMERANG OF COHABITING IN CAMEROON

A couple not married to each other is considered to be cohabiting when they are living together emotionally and or physically intimate relationship.
If you are in an opposite-sex relationship, your rights as a partner may depend on whether you are married or living together. Generally speaking, you will have fewer rights if you are living together than if you are married. Although there is no legal definition of living together, it generally means to live together as a couple without being married.

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, you can formalise aspects of your status with a partner by drawing up a legal agreement called a cohabitation contract or living together agreement. A living together agreement outlines the rights and obligations of each partner towards each other. It is not clear whether living together agreements are legally enforceable but they can be useful to remind a couple of their original intentions. In practice, instead of a living together agreement, it is possible to make a series of legally enforceable agreements on specific matters, for example, how a jointly-owned house is shared. If you want to do this, you will need legal advice.

Although rarely enforced, cohabitation is considered illegal in seven states in the United States - Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia. Some couples prefer cohabitation because it does not legally commit them for an extended period, and because it is easier to establish and dissolve without the legal costs often associated with a divorce. In some jurisdictions cohabitation can be viewed legally as common-law marriage, either after the duration of a specified period, or the birth of the couple's child, or if the couple consider and behave accordingly as husband and wife. This helps to provide the surviving partner a legal basis for inheriting the deceased's belongings in the event of the death of their cohabiting partner.

Common-law marriage sometimes called de facto marriage, informal marriage or marriage by habit and repute is a form of interpersonal status which is legally recognized in some jurisdictions as a marriage even though no legally recognized marriage ceremony is performed or civil marriage contract is entered into or the marriage registered in a civil registry. A common law marriage is legally binding in some jurisdictions but has no legal consequence in others. In some jurisdictions without true common law marriages like Hungary, the term "common law marriage" is used as a synonym for non-marital relationships such as domestic partnership or reciprocal beneficiaries’ relationship.

Today, cohabitation is a common pattern among people in the Western world, especially those who desire marriage but whose financial situation temporarily precludes it, or who wish to prepare for what married life will be like before actually getting married, or because they see no benefit or value offered by marriage. More and more couples choose to have long-term relationships without marriage, and cohabit as a permanent arrangement.

Research shows that most couples who live together would like to get married someday, and within five years, slightly more than half of them do. People may live together for a number of reasons. - They are in love, and they want to spend more time together. They want to make sure they are compatible before they make a lifetime commitment to each other. They are engaged to be married, and decide to move in together before the wedding. They are perhaps saving money for a wedding, and figure they'll live together in the meantime. They are spending most nights together anyway and don't want to pay two rents. They don’t want to get married or cannot marry. They know their partner isn't a good match for a long-term relationship, but want to stick with this person for now. They would lose significant financial benefits if they were to marry. This predicament is especially common among senior citizens - who would sometimes lose a pension from a deceased spouse if they married and disabled people. It may also be because they are unable to legally marry, because for example same-sex, interracial or interreligious marriages are not legal or permitted. Other reasons include living with someone before marriage as a way for polygamist or polyamorists to avoid breaking the law, a way to avoid the higher income taxes paid by some two-income married couples in the United States.

In Cameroon there are some cases of females who have lost their lives as a result of cohabiting. On June 14, 2007 in the economic capital, Douala in the Littoral Province of Cameroon, a fourth year student of the faculty of Economic Science, University of Douala, Amandine Azebaze, age twenty- three was strangled to death in their home by her boy friend Blaise Deffo a barber by profession.

Blaise and Amandine were cohabiting; locally called in pidgin (CWS) “COME WE STAY”. After the act Blaise attempted suicide by stabbing himself. A neighbor broke in and Blaise was rushed to the hospital while Amandine’s corpse was transported to the mortuary. It is alleged that the reason for Blaise actions was because Amandine wanted to end the relationship after they have been living together for sometime. To this, her friends question if love is by force.

Apparently the students of the University of Douala especially her course mates with whom she attended lectures that morning took to the streets with banners in hand, marching from their campus to the hospital. Their aim was to notify the administration, public and the media that every human being has fundamental human rights, which includes the right to live. Therefore no body has the right to exterminate another person’s life. As such, justice should take its course.

Years back in Yaounde the capital city of Cameroon a similar incident had taken place. In this case, the man was a Tailor and was sponsoring the girl in the University of Yaounde. The girl in her final year decides she wanted to call off the relationship, to this the guy locked up and sent the house ablaze; killing them both.

In another cohabiting story, this time in Buea in the South West Province of Cameroon, Eleanor now a graduate in Public Administration and Mbella a graduate in Law had been cohabiting for seven years as students and have two daughters, three and four years respectively.

Although Eleanor lived with Mbella, her family was still in charge of her education. She had to care for her home, kids and study at the same time. Eleanor in her twenties has constantly been battered by Mbella who is about thirty years old. According to Eleanor the children are traumatized, as a result, they get frantic and start crying each time their dad starts yelling; since they know their mom would eventually be mal- handled.

In one of Mbella’s battering flings, he beat Eleanor up and she ended up admitted in hospital. Besides one of his sisters, neither him nor any of his family member showed up at the hospital. When Eleanor was discharged she went to live with her family, Mbella accosted her later giving her an ultimatum to return to his house.

She did not. He saw her again asking for forgiveness and that if she had actually forgiven him then she should accompany him to a party. She refused stating she is still recovering. Mbella insisted he needed just her company even if she would not dance. At the party a guy approached Eleanor for a dance even though she declined, Mbella was enraged and this ensues in to a fight.

Eleanor thence took the decision never to return to live with him again. A few months after Eleanor now living in another town helping in her father’s palm oil mill came around to visit her children who where now living with their paternal grandmother and aunts. Mbella came in, started scolding and asked her to leave. Amidst their exchange of words Mbella punched her neck to further defend herself, she got hold of an ovaltine bottle and crashed on his head.

Eleanor later was not proud of her action and even tried to seek a truce but this fell on deaf ears. However, Eleanor cannot get to see her kids. With her motherly love for her children she decided to visit them at school. To her total dismay the children upon seeing her fled crying. The school authorities tried to find out what was going on; since Eleanor was their mom and usually dropped and pick them from school as such they were surprised with the children’s reaction towards their mother. The children informed them that their dad told them to not get close to Eleanor because she was not their mom. Eleanor stunned and in a melancholic state went immediately to the State Counsel Office and was later referred to the Social Welfare service to seek legal redress. She was given convocation to serve Mbella.

What amazes Eleanor is that, about two weeks back when she visited the kids whom she had not seen for about three months they happily rushed to her, now just within two weeks after the last incident with Mbella the children are running away from her. She is tortured about the thought of loosing her children and what worries her more is that Mbella’s mother is not educated and his sister’s are nonchalant, as a result the children would have a set back in their education, morals and personal hygiene- especially when she sees them with unkempt hair. Sometimes she has to sneak to an opposite neighbours house not to be noticed by Mbellas’ family just to watch her children playing outside.

There have been other cases of domestic violence that has caused the death of many women - like a case of a man who battered the pregnant wife and she eventually died with her unborn twin. Actually the government of Cameroon is trying to discourage cohabiting. Most couples from a survey by the Ministry of Women Empowerment and the Family, claim they would love to legalise their relationship but this is hindered due to the cost involve.

The Ministry discovered that girls and women in this kind of relationship are not secured since they have no legal document backing them as a result; they are subjected to domestic violence, abuse of their rights and abandonment.

To ameliorate this situation, the Ministry of Women Empowerment and the Family together with the Ministry of Territorial Administration and Decentralization have now introduced Mass Marriages with no charges at the Municipal Councils. All that is expected by the couples is for them to come along with a portrait in which their heads are joint together and their rings. We are still to appreciate the effectiveness of this merger, since it is a common phenomenon in Cameroon that certain decrees are more of theory than practical.

By Cecile Enie